


Penalty of Fear

by Tarlan



Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-24
Updated: 2011-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-19 18:56:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josef reflects on his changed relationship with Mick after turning him back to a vampire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penalty of Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **smallfandomfest** Fest09 and **mmom** 2011 Day 24

There were only a few times when Josef had regretted becoming a vampire, but then he _had_ chosen to be turned, had begged for it even. His boyish good looks had turned the head of a handsome, sensual and powerful vampire and they had stayed together for decades before parting company on less than desirable terms. Yet, while he was under the protection of his sire, Josef had wanted for nothing, and in those days when horse or runner was the only means of carrying communication from one place to another, a few missing persons went unnoticed so they fed well.

Occasionally they were forced to move on quickly when someone became suspicious of their Bohemian lifestyle of sleeping all day and socializing all night but, on the whole, it had been a good life--or death, depending on your point of view. However, Josef learned from his sire that all good things eventually came to an end.

His sire had not coped well with the changing world, becoming a recluse long before burying himself alive inside a crypt near his ancestral home in France; he had been one of the aristocratic vampires who had managed to evade the guillotine during the French Revolution. For all Josef knew, Francois was still down there, sleeping away the decades--then the centuries--as an emaciated pile of skin and bones that would return to life only if drenched with the blood of a fresh kill. In the beginning, Josef had begged and cajoled, had even slept in the dusty crypt alongside his sire. He had tried to find things in the ever-changing modern world that could anchor his sire to a new century but Francois had slammed him aside, almost slaying him on that last attempt, giving Josef no choice but to let Francois rest in peace.

Perhaps he would try to waken him one day. But not in this century.

On those few occasions when Josef could recall missing a mortal existence, he had fallen in lust with a human and had hated to be parted from his new lover between dawn and dusk while he slept alone in a freezer. After all, walking hand-in-hand along a tropical beach or eating a picnic on the sand beneath the midday sun could hardly be considered romantic if it gave him a potentially lethal dose of sunburn despite the highest factor sun-cream created by man. Sadly, too often his human lover had lusted for immortality more than for him, begging him to bring them over, and on the extremely rare occasion, he gave into their desire. He always lost them as soon as they had gained control of the thirst, for lust was never enough to hold them together. He counted Simone among those.

Mick was different. He was a vampire sired unwillingly by a woman he had loved--a vampire who thought immortality was the perfect gift to give her new husband on their wedding night. Until then, Mick had been a worshiper of the sun, lying stretched out half-naked on the soft Californian sand beneath those terrible rays, body lax and skin a golden hue. Now, apart from one disastrous trip into the desert with Beth, the closest Mick got to bathing in the deadly rays of the sun was in a movie theater, and though cinematography had come a long way since those early days back at the turn of the previous century, it still could not compare to the real thing in Mick's eyes. So Josef shouldn't have been surprised when Mick took the cure that would made him mortal once more, if only for a few weeks or months.

For the first time, Josef had wanted to be mortal too, feeling heart-sick at not being able to share this new-old aspect of a man he had come to think of as his best and truest friend. He had Mick followed during those daylight hours, and watched enviously as Mick indulged in all the things that Josef had left behind centuries before: mortal food and drink, and the touch of the sun caressing his skin without the fear of blackening it. He had even endured Mick's teasing as he noticed how quickly Mick had lost the deathly pallor of a vampire. Knowing Mick would never turn Beth against her will, he wasn't even afraid to tell Mick to love her with all his heart for human's were here and gone too quickly, their life span just a flash of moments within a vampire's existence.

When he had come to Mick that evening, seeing his face bruised and bloodied, and watching him preparing to take on vampires while still in mortal form, Josef had never been more angry. It took only moments to make his point when Mick arrogantly assumed that he would be able to take care of himself. Yet, even beneath the anger he was awed by Mick's faith in him, believing that Josef could keep him safe even within a nest of vampires. But the truth was that they would both die, and though the thought of dying to save Mick--or dying with him--held little fear despite the centuries of life behind him, it was the needless waste of both their lives that angered him--or the fear of losing Mick and going on without him. And all for a human who would fade from Mick's memory as the centuries passed by.

He never expected Mick to give up what remained of his human existence to save Beth. He never expected Mick to beg Josef to turn him back into a vampire, and he prayed to a god that he had ceased to believe in centuries earlier that Mick would be able to forgive him because he was uncertain if he would ever be able to forgive himself for giving in to that impassioned plea. He felt the crushing pain of Mick losing his humanity, and his own tears splashed upon Mick's face as he offered him his vampire blood, and let him drink.

Now, two days later, he was sitting alone in his newly refurbished penthouse suite, with just the moonlight through the large plate windows casting light and shadow over the expensive furnishings. He recalled telling Mick that sex was everything, whether between two vampires, two humans, or between vampire and human. He wondered if Mick had given in to his desire for Beth; whether he was lying in her bed now.

Sex was possible for a solitary vampire too, and he felt no guilt or self-consciousness as he undressed with vampire speed and sank back down on the luxurious couch--naked. Outwardly, he stared at the moon as he touched himself, feeling the blood pooling into his groin and making him feel hungry and light-headed. He could see his reflection in the glass--ghostlike with his deathly pale skin and no fresh, warm blood to sip from a human partner. Inwardly, he thought of Mick and the human world he had taken from him because he had been too weak to refuse Mick.

He stroked himself harder, almost painfully, trying to punish himself for being weak. As the centuries marched onwards, there might come a time when Beth was dust and forgotten, yet the memory of those few days in the sun would linger, and Mick would hate him for taking that away from him. But when he weighed up that future pain against losing Mick forever--a human torn apart or drained to death by hostile vampires--there really had been no choice. He closed his eyes to blot out his reflection, sobbing as he tried to find some measure of release whether physical or mental.

His eyes snapped open at the breath of cool air across his face, and he found Mick kneeling between his parted legs.

Mick loved Beth. He loved her enough to give up the precious time he had left as a mortal to save her.

Mick's hand over his own was cool, no longer suffused with human warmth and life, and Josef remained still as Mick leaned in and kissed him tenderly upon the lips, deepening the kiss as his hand pushed Josef's aside and began to stroke Josef slowly. Closer than he believed, Josef shuddered as the pleasure rippled through him after only a few strokes, numbing his mind and senses for a brief respite. When he came back into himself, Mick was murmuring softly before leaning in to kiss and taste the fresh tears rolling down Josef's cheeks.

"There was never anything to forgive," Mick whispered against Josef's lips before kissing him again and holding him close. Josef tensed for a moment, and then released all of that tension when he realized he could sense peace within Mick now, as if he had finally stopped fighting and had accepted what he was--a vampire.

Earlier, Mick had teased him about Josef being his sire now, and Josef had refused to accept it. But later, as he fell towards sleep in his over-sized freezer, with half his body lying comfortably on top of Mick, and his head pillowed against the throat that he had drunk deeply from only days earlier, Josef could scent his blood still running through Mick's veins.

Perhaps Coraline had been Mick's sire that first time, but Mick would always carry the scent of Josef's vampire blood within him from this second turning. Mick was as much his as Coraline's now, and perhaps, in time, Josef would be able to accept his own weakness for Mick, and forgive himself after all.

END


End file.
